i have essay and i need some edit on it

i have essay and i need some edit on it. i have recived some comment form the professor and i need an edit for my essay. also, i will attach the source that i have used in the essay.first comment: the ination for the paper does not connect with the topic and change the title with someting more strong and relate to the source. second comment: should talk about the war not the civil ear because thier different country.third comment: talk about the diplomacy or the Papa Ganda. also i will put my grade crteria after i submmited my first draft from my professor and it will show in which part that i have lose point. ( please read it to understand more )

i have essay and i need some edit on it


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